This is a two part series of debauchery. With all the new sex slang and complicated sex moves you don’t want to miss this. Have you ever been with a women and she asked you to give her “The Flying Camel” or a “Chili Dog” and you just stare at her blankly cause you have no idea what the fuck she is talking about? Don’t let this happen! Put your reading glasses on and catch up on all the nastiest new sex acts now…

The Sicktionary Volume I

1. Fishhook - A variation of “The Shocker” (an uninvited digit placed in the girl’s anus ) in which, with the finger still up there, you “hook” back in the direction the pussy. No real purpose here other than to think to yourself while doing it, “ahhh yes the Fishhook……”. Another variation called the “New Jersey Meathook” involves sticking your uninvited digit in the girl’s anus while fucking her from behind. You finger is then turned upward toward her back and you pull her entire body toward you over and over while she is sliding on your cock.

2. Gaylord Perry - Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle-ball pitcher proud and use multiple digits on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of 2 knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple).

3. The Rear Admiral - An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (with both partners standing), make sure you don’t let her grab onto anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that the momentum pushes her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table, or have her trip and fall on her face. You attain the status of Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips. continue…

(1 votes, average: 10 out of 10)

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Apparently there is a whole new breed of censorship in this country. Many of you who know the chef know of his T-shirt site SaltyTees.com rude and funny T-Shirts blah blah blah. Anyways, The Chef tried to get 4 T-shirts printed and got turned down by 6 local and national T-shirt press companies stating these 4 designs we “blasphemous, obscene, insesitive, and anti-American“. Now I can understand the “Pet My Pussy” T-shirt being a bit obsene, the “Tsunami 04′ Tour T-shirt” is I guess a bit insesitive and “Virgin Eater” can be construed as “blasphemous” although I never read anything in the bible saying Jesus can’t be pictured with some naked chicks on a T-shirt. Then how the fuck is having a pic of George Bush on a Tee that says “Persistent Vegetative State” anti-american?? Poking fun at the president, especially one so pokable as GW is one of america’s favorite past times! Anyways, the last printer told me that these 4 shirts were illegal and he would contact the police if I tried to get them printed. Fucking Fashion Facist Pigs!! Finally after a dozen phone calls I found a printer with absolutely no moral fiber or qualms with whoring his services out and dropping his ethics to make a quick buck. Prai$e Jeebu$ and God Ble$$ the U$A!

(2 votes, average: 1 out of 10)

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